Who's is it this time?

who's is it this time?

when I walked around,
pacing, thinking
‘there’s some sick way out of this’
it came to me.
I am here. in the present.
forgetting to breathe… I took a slow agonizing breath.
pause
I need to know that who ever you are out there.
that You have said my name in your head.
That I am not alone.
here.
now.
I know that I think and have thought.
there’s a million people.
running around in my brain.
pause
so my cheeks get hot.
thinking… gosh this world is empty.
but it only goes bare when I’m here…in my head
and it feels like everything else around me is going by, moving away from me.
that everyone forgets.
but it’s not okay, I’m not selfish and alone…
yet feeling failure, as if fallen behind…
such a tragedy
 pause
so tell me
say it.
just hello.
to me.
to someone.
because there’s no need to feel alone.
pause
let’s play house.
I am the mommy..
You be the daddy.
You will work hard. Love me and be satisfied that you picked a great woman.
and we will travel with each other and far from each other.
but no matter the distance we will love all the same.
these : thoughts from my day. night
end.