summa time begins at the end

 Killer board

 Snaggle tooth

 B street nature

 Mini Grom!

 LOVE YOUR LIFE

 Life begins so little, with such big ideas

 Summa Tme hoopin

karma police

i was in my bare when i finally told you. you said to tell everything i felt
i look back now. it scared you. i was too raw, but what you ask is what you get
i'm in my bare expressing this again alone now. oh i was so silly to think such things
a fairy tales is a childs story and some days im still a child.

and as a child does i get yelled at for saying what shouldn't, i know i shouldn't
but how else will i learn? i'll tell you this. i learned more then if i hadn't,
i sat on your lap. my cheeks in your hands and radiohead was on.
we were different then then we are now, it's sad but that's what memories are for and
why they are made. to recollect.
i love that memory. it's the first time i said it, i said what i meant and i meant what i said.
goodnight, my bright moon

Michael Franti & Spearhead - The Sound Of Sunshine

Dont do this...

when sending out your resume,revised from a friend be sure you look it over before sending it out to over 30 places. ex:*Bis at the B*<(changed for security)Fine dining Restaurant: I am responsible for communicating with the civilians of the host nation and providing
them with the best support in rebuilding the villages and cities and ...
coordination programs to allow them a proper life style to fulfill there
needs.

     I've got this craving to write lately, a passion that I can't get rid of. I'm so happy with my writings too. I feel so accomplished. My writing ofcourse isn't for everyone but it's different then most. I put detail into my work, I want the reader to feel what I feel, See what I am envisioning and experiance that moment I'm in. I hope it's working.
    When I was little I would write the most intense poetry. It was the only way I could get out anger, frustration, too much joy! I've always been over excitable and expressed it so silly-ly. Anyways maybe I can turn this passion into a job... write in to the OC weekly or something. Hopefully I figure something out. For the time being  it'll all be on here :)

Novos Baianos - Samba da Minha Terra

A Fine Frenzy - Happier (Lyrics Video)

I'm down to the bone

I'm healing, don't say I hate you

You leavin, draggin this on is the hardest part

My dreams trick me, but it's all done.
I'm down to the bone

I won't show ache. I'll make it fine.

I won't say much about this (over time)

It's empty memories 'til I can recall them right.

I'm not okay, don't ask. 

My head is like a filling cabinet

I'm putting you in the back.

 Give me my selfish mistakes,

I'm screwing up till you're gone

Leave me be, you won't be here long.

I'll do this, I am making it. 

This wasn't meant to be forever, 

but it felt like you gave in.
I'm down to the bone

These eyes are shut, nothing's functional

world is letting me fall once again. 

let me fall, clouds will feel much nicer then his song

I'm gonna be who I was, healing on the hot sand

Waves shake my mistakes, You're misuse, I'm gone

Leave me be, you didn't stick for long ( I want to be where you are)

I'm doing this, I made it. (I'm better then where you are)

This felt like forever, I'll love you too long. 

but it felt like you gave in.

I'm healing, don't say I hate you

You leavin, draggin this on is the hardest part

My dreams trick me, but it's all done.

I'm down to the bone. my love

I'm down to the bone
 I'm down... kickn me down
to  the   bone...
down

San Oh baby!

          Surfing is a must needed lately. It seems it's the only logical way of escape, and bringin me back to my roots. Last night was too beyond what I need to get myself into. I've realized when I'm down at San o... with all those amazing people, something in my attitude, heart and life style changes for the better. I'm a much more positive person, forgiving again, outgoing, and back to my real happy , loving self! That's who I am. I'm proud of myself when I write, and when I'm able to get away from this place I can finally open my mind and release that writers block. Lately Ive been talking a lot with my friend KB who lives down there. His lifestyle is such a dream, and he's such a humble person. It's strange to say within the past few months I haven't changed for the better... at least I recognize it before I deny it though. So I'm gonna take his life as an opportunity to better mine. watch through him and motivate me! Today is the day to better myself, my life, lifestyle and heart. Advice, a good (positive) friendship is well needed right now. Any help with borrowing a long board and wetsuit hit me up!!! It would be GREATLY appreciated. 

Stoked and broke right now...not for long broke, forever stoked... "peace,love,surf"-RH                                                                              -MJ

Spider Kelly, Drummer = My dad: Dusty Slaybaugh

GO SURF!... NOW

Smooth Operator

Classic!

Flavor of the week? night? ...no thank you

"Really? You expect me to say yes to you for sex because you have found me attractive since the first time we met...this is the third time...and I'm gonna say no" I find it odd that even with the constant scare of std rates, the emotional distress, the fact that nearly everyone is sleeping with everyone, that confrontation for sex is so simple to most everyone. Sex is insignificant, no substance for love, just a good romp these days. I was raised in many households, each it's own individual ideals and morals for sex. I found the most interesting was living with my dad. He started raising me when I was 8. My mom out of the picture due to her own misfortunes, my dad was left with a roll of two parents, which meant as I got older his explanations had to come for my questions of womanhood. I'd ask questions without filter quite often, most likely causing him discomfort. But he never failed for a good, understanding answer. He was a good role model, more like an older brother. He never had any girlfriends, respected women- this wasn't because he was bad looking or a freak. He just knew he had a responsibility for my welfare.

           So why do all these other young adults believe it's okay to just have sex... do their parents not push their child to have respect for their bodies? Why is it okay to just ask a girl... what kind of gentleman are you? I just got out of a relationship, so I'm supposed to rebound?! How trashy... I'll stick to my monogamous relationships and keep my legs together.


__________________________________________________________________________________





Promiscuity in men may cheapen love but sharpen thought. Promiscuity in women is illness, a leakage of identity. The promiscuous woman is self-contaminated and incapable of clear ideas. She has ruptured the ritual integrity of her body.  Camille Paglia

To sleep around is absolutely wrong for a woman; it’s degrading and it completely ruins her personality. Sooner or later it will destroy all that is feminine and beautiful and idealistic in her.  Barbara Cartland

My world

My world : A plot of sand that I place objects found on the beach; Sticks, rocks, shells, particles of trash... etc.

Today I made My world. Feeling: peaceful, rejected, independent. I was finally able to sit in my own thoughts. Since I fidget alot, this little habit has become my creative release when at the beach.
I feel in control, I feel so relaxed when  I sit and just gather a whole picture of something out of nothing. Today I felt alone at first. I skate from my house to Orange hoping to catch some  part of something...instead I went on to the sand and sat...alone. Fidgeting I started my creation... This makes me happy... more to come....

Deb's Girl- My momma Deb

I saw a fairy dancing, a nine year old leaping and flying through the air like fairies do. Her fairy dust flew into my heart and I fell, fell in love. I took her home and have loved her ever since. Mandy Jane my little girl forever. _ from Momma Deb

Red wine with family time

Wide awake with nothing to say

Four glasses of red wine, still didn't knock me out.

So I went onto glass five. No matter what it seems my sleep patterns will be off course.
I need a way to vent during the day so I can finally sleep. No looking around. No wondering. No thoughts or questions I Need Sleep! This isnt getting easier.

    

my new friend

Kameron Brown's are the continent's most endangered predators. Kameron browns packs numbering a hundred or more animals a century ago, now are about 1. The total population today is probably less than 60 stoked surfers on the Serengeti of San Onfre. A strong, musky odor seems to help the pack find individuals that have become separated from the group. Kameron Brown can reach speeds of more than 40 miles per hour (65 km/h.) on a long board. This specie  is known as Stoked or surf rats. They are kind, light hearted and have a certain dialect only few in this region share. They are not prone to companionship but when the heat of the moment strikes they perform a ritual called "Drop into the Barrel" or " Getting Shacked". KB's are indeed a magnificent creature.

Day 2 of break up hahaha Im ALIVE

 Two days ago, a little thing I'd like to call the 'selfish break up' occurred. and you know what... I'm fine, It was my first love, but I'm fine. No I'm not gonna wallow in tears and eat ice cream and watch stupid sap romance movies... okay maybe just one night. But I'm pretty proud on how I'm handling this. I'm not ready to date or start looking...obviously it's only been a day hahah. However, I'm looking on the bright side... Now i get to wearing my bikini bottoms that actually LOOK good ;)
           





"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Neil Gaiman

a drop,a change, magic

21st June 2010

a drop,a change, magic

Silly sound, floatin round unknown world, moving everything I see.
as I try so hard to speak. watching, laughing giggling uncontrollably.
we dance, hold hands running amuck
let’s fall down far far to the hole
of stories we’ve Lent our ears to hear.
Let go, Let’s go   Let go, Let’s go
look up…a sky upon the ground
the tree changing, transforming colors all around.
release, re-see, think how we breathe.
everything laced with a vine, all world centered, I see time.
How its changed us. I’m better now I understand,
“NO” I wont listen to he man. HAHAH HEHE I’m Mad!
this twisted twirly maniac dimension… I’M FREE!! HEHEHAHA Free I AM!
never again will I. be for I am.
changed re-arranged. Flipped, Flopped no longer lost
at this cost of such a drop.
I see I’m me no longer she.
centered on this rush no longer, look the longest life.
to be so happy, just be revived.
Thank you Earth! How you revolve.
I’m watching us dance full on a good one,
a
chance.
Float on, Float up did you see him,
he sees & watches, as he is. as he says. but he is unknown, a Wiseman.
a freeshow, hands gifts of opening and virtue.
“Ladies sheath, watch out or he’ll hurt you, tear you apart”
he speaks “Against his sword, You’ll argue no more!!”
JUST BE, JUST SEE This is your true beauty.
written-June 20th 2010 6:57pm driving away to home from San Francisco
about lightning in a bottle. I met so many amazing people…a Wiseman who told me that women are a goddess and men shall respect and hold us high upon a pedestal. As we women hold our pride, our dignity; hide your sheath (female reproductive) from any abuse or disrespect. We are a temple.  xoMJ

Cliff Dive

cliffdive

tide is comein up quick,
don’t you forget to meet me here,
waves  breakin on the rocks
i think its time for pain to stop,
     ready for the clear
     jump farther across
     I heard we can climb higher up
    dont let the beating of your heart
    tear you from where we are
Jump baby jump, Ive got your hand wrapped in mine
Leap far  jaged edge, take a deep breath
heres the chance, take no time, count to 3…breathe     sl  ow  ly
  ready for the clear
     jump farther across
     I heard we can climb higher up
    dont let the beating of your heart
    tear you from where we are                
Toes on the edge, I’m dreaming
* Can’thelp but look back*      *Whisper*
 tide pools held such safety,
     jump farther across
    ready for the clear
     jump farther across
    I heard we can climb higher up
    dont let the beating of your heart
    tear you from where we are
youre a strong girl, brave against the world
why would you let anything break you, from here
let go, let the ocean wipe away your fears