Free minded

21st June 2010

a drop,a change, magic

Silly sound, floatin round unknown world, moving everything I see.
as I try so hard to speak. watching, laughing giggling uncontrollably.
we dance, hold hands running amuck
let’s fall down far far to the hole
of stories we’ve Lent our ears to hear.
Let go, Let’s go   Let go, Let’s go
look up…a sky upon the ground
the tree changing, transforming colors all around.
release, re-see, think how we breathe.
everything laced with a vine, all world centered, I see time.
How its changed us. I’m better now I understand,
“NO” I wont listen to he man. HAHAH HEHE I’m Mad!
this twisted twirly maniac dimension… I’M FREE!! HEHEHAHA Free I AM!
never again will I. be for I am.
changed re-arranged. Flipped, Flopped no longer lost
at this cost of such a drop.
I see I’m me no longer she.
centered on this rush no longer, look the longest life.
to be so happy, just be revived.
Thank you Earth! How you revolve.
I’m watching us dance full on a good one,
a
chance.
Float on, Float up did you see him,
he sees & watches, as he is. as he says. but he is unknown, a Wiseman.
a freeshow, hands gifts of opening and virtue.
“Ladies sheath, watch out or he’ll hurt you, tear you apart”
he speaks “Against his sword, You’ll argue no more!!”
JUST BE, JUST SEE This is your true beauty.

written-June 20th 2010 6:57pm driving away to ?home? from San Francisco
about lightning in a bottle. I met so many amazing people…a Wiseman who told me that women are a goddess and men shall respect and hold us high upon a pedestal. As we women hold our pride, our dignity; hide your sheath (female reproductive) from any abuse or disrespect. We are a temple.  xoMJ

hi mommy, it's been a while

The doctors describe her like an animal.
Unable to control her emotions, or choices.
She's manic.

-it's okay, she just let's her emotions free.
 it's not like she's ... at the end?

The people around,who have grown with her,
they say she only has one way to go...
isn't that good?

-it's okay, she is going to get through this,
  she always gets better, she may go back...
but she comes around again, and again, and again?

The words she let go that time, "she didn't mean them"
They always defend her, say she's just sick
But I have seen a sick person... a person is in a cough
not a rage.

-it's okay, she said someday we will be together.
  she said we will be reunited, a happy-perfect family.
  she said she's sorry and she's better and
  i believe her?

She's not getting any better, but they have told me this
i have heard this all twenty-two years of my life.
i am almost twenty-three... every time she is worse.
but she gets better every time...
right?
this time she will pull through.

this year her father went,
this year she won't go.
you can't loose two-in-one,
in the same year.
you just can't,
can you?

"she's manic" the doctor said.
she's ill; mind, body, soul, and as a mother.
she may not make it this time.

... but they said that last time.
and the time before that.
and before that..
and before that.
and ...
*(repeat that phrase over and over in your head, keep repeating till you finally grab your head and scream-
then you will, perhaps- unlikely that you may - understand me)

she's manic
but she will get better.
i hope?