exactly that feeling...

ouch.
you've got to be fucking kidding me.

yes. i listened to my gut. yes. it was fucking right.
this ... this is what something, was telling me.

just COMMUNICATE.
what the fuck.
ouch. fucking. fuck . fuck.
that word, for some reason, right now.
so perfectly fitting.
FUCK

step. 1. breathe.
step 2. complete
step 3. salt water. not tears. actual ocean. NOW
step 4. forget. out of sight out of mind. no words. nothing.
step 5. chin up.
step 6. breathe. i'm fine. will be. always. have.
step 7. expected.... the expected. from the circle of fuck. the same lesson... just a little louder.
a little heavier...

i think i think too much.... that thinking came in handy.
fuck.  I'm glad that yesterday I danced so hard my body hurt, because today it wont hurt as much.
i just need to remember to breathe.

no fucking memory, no why, what if's, nothing bullshit. just. breathe.
get on with a different moment. done.
 fuck this feels good to write, to get off my fucking chest.

haven't fucking written like this in ages... never openly at least... this time won't take as long to heal.
this time. i won't care anymore. FUCK.